Sunday, July 25, 2010

Party On!

What'll they think of next?  Sure, debutantes have long had their balls, young Jewish girls their Bat Mitzvahs and Latino chicas their QuinceƱeras.  But why are the festivities limited to only a select few?  Well, they're not – not really.  Why any girl has always had the opportunity to celebrate her Sweet Sixteen if she wants to.  And then there's this other thing…  Don't tell me you haven't heard about the latest reason to throw a party? 


I'm taking about menarcheal rituals.  For those not familiar with that term, it is the adjective form of the word menarche which is defined, according to Merriam-Webster, as the beginning of the menstrual function, especially the first menstrual period of an individual.  Apparently mothers everywhere are now hosting 'first period' parties.  Do I need to repeat myself?  What will they think of next?


I can see the Hallmark cards now:


Adolescence is over

It's come to an end

And now you have

A monthly friend


You've hit puberty

Let's shout for joy

Good-bye little girl

Oh, boy – oh, boy!


Expect some cramps

And bloating, too

Shedding a uterine lining

Is not easy to do


Your head may ache

And moods will swing

But, you can procreate –

That's a cool thing


So what if it's painful

And you retain water

You're a woman now

My sweet baby daughter


Congratulations on your first period Honey!


I realize this is a milestone in a young woman's life, but it just doesn't seem like something you'd actually celebrate…


Now later in life when 'your friend' may be tardy,

but shows up, after all, that's when you party!


~ M.