Sunday, October 26, 2008


Hay bales, pumpkins, costumes and more –

Carnival games and candy galore; 

With tricks, treats and everything sweet,

Highlands' Fall Festival cannot be beat!


Thousands of people will come, that's for sure;

But it's really the kids that we do it all for.

They'll be there in droves – in masquerade clothes

Having the time of their lives, as everyone knows.


Buzz Lightyear will be there, and a Batman, or two,

Mr. Incredible and Winnie the Pooh.

Belle and her friends will be there this night,

Cinderella, Jasmine and, of course, Snow White.

Darth Vadars, Tiggers and Black Cats will abound;

Devils and Angels will be easily found.

Spidermen, Vampires and Hobos in rags

Will play freely together, filling their bags.


There'll be Snickers, Skittles, Kit-Kats and Nerds,

Dum-Dum Lollipops and things that go squirt;

Starburst, Tootsies, worms and bears, oh so gummy,

And hundreds of other things good for the tummy.

Chocolates, Caramels and Gum Drops, too –

Peppermint Patties and a Charleston Chew,

M&Ms, Reese's, and the famed Baby Ruth

Will satisfy each and every sweet tooth.


After a few frenzied hours, it will come to an end;

But we'll set it up next year and do it again!


I'm off to man the Pumpkin Pitch booth…


Happy Halloween!  - M




Sunday, October 12, 2008

Disney Birthday

Another click on the timeline – another year older – yup, another birthday has gone by.  This year I celebrated my birthday in Disneyland – where everyone is a kid. 


I was there last week with my brother and his family where we hooked up with his childhood friend, Chris, and his family.  I hadn't seen Chris in about 20 years and yet, to me, he looked exactly the same.  He didn't age a bit – well, okay, he had a few more whiskers now, but other than that… he looked the same.  He said I looked the same, too.  Really?  The same?  Did I have gray hair and loose, flapping triceps 20 years ago?  I'm overdue for a color touch-up, and as far as the triceps go, what can you do – over 40.  Seriously, my upper arm measures only 10-1/4" in diameter, and yet, when I wave – or season food – my flapping triceps create enough wind to extinguish birthday candles.  


As a kid my brother and his friend liked to tease me.  Chris didn't remember that so much until I reminded him of some of the names they called me – Methuselah and Seven Ton Buns were among the faves.  Methuselah was a 969-year-old biblical man, and seven ton buns, well, I was a 5 foot 7 inch 92 pound teenager, so this one didn't really apply either – 2x4s are shapelier than I was back then.  Although these names incensed me at the time, we laughed as we reminisced and they've now become an endearing childhood memory.  


We were a group of 10.  Five adults (I use that tem loosely) and five kids, ages 6 through 11. Being with children, we naturally went on some of the attractions that would normally be deemed kiddie rides.  (I can never understand why adults, without children, go on these rides, but I digress.)  One of the popular choices for our group was The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.  This, of course, unleashed an entire array of 'poo' jokes.


Q:  Who's your favorite Disney bathroom character? 

A:  Winnie the Poo!


Q:  If Winnie was a rooster, what would he say?

A:  Cock-a-doodle-poo!


Q:  What is Winnie's favorite place on a cruise ship?

A:  The poop deck!


This evolved into a very sophisticated knock-knock joke:



Your turn:  (Who's there?)

I'm a pile up.

Your turn: __________________


Did you fall for it?  Do you get it?  I totally fell for it – didn't even see it coming – and when I responded with, "I'm a pile up who?" the kids went to pieces.  


This theme continued on into the night where, for dinner, we dined at the CafĂ© Orleans.  Although I thoroughly enjoyed the Monte Cristo, I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be with me – trapped inside (i.e. travel induced constipation) like Dumas' Edmond Dantes just waiting for escape, and thus was born the idea for book #2 (no pun intended): Le Log – The True Story of a French Poo!


What is it about bathroom humor? I think most times you can divide people into two groups – there are always two sides to the same coin: boys and girls; passive and aggressive; conservative and liberal.  You get it.  Bathroom humor is no different – you either think it's funny or you don't.  The majority of our group could appreciate a good fart joke. 


Being October, Disneyland was all tricked out for Halloween – large candy corn adorned the park, the Haunted Mansion took on a Nightmare Before Christmas theme, and a variety of oversized jack-o'-lanterns were seen throughout.  As I hobbled around – let me interject that coming from Arizona, where we barely just broke triple digit temps, I felt the predicted 81˚ would be chilly; so I was in full length pants, sweatshirt (wound up tied around my waist), socks and sneakers.  By the way, in Scottsdale, this is basically how we dress for winter. 


It was 93˚ and humid – we were sweating bullets – UGH!  My poor, enclosed, sweaty, little pieds were killing me as blisters formed a puffed up, fluid filled ridge between my toes and the balls of my feet.  Avoiding the normal heel-toe method of walking, I tried to step down more on the outside of my feet which made me look as though I had one leg two inches shorter than the other as my hips rolled up, and then down, to accommodate the herky-jerky awkward gait.  Seriously, I walked like the Edgar-suit from Men in Black.  Sticking with the Halloween theme, I contemplated drawing a skull and crossbones on the tops of my sneakers – to identify them for what they were – the killers! 


In spite of the heat and sore feet, I had an awesome time.  So what if I left there half crippled, hobbling around like Methuselah's older sister, who cares?  You can't beat being in a Disney park with the little ones that you love.  It truly is magical. 


Happy Birthday to me!


 - M