Sunday, October 25, 2009


I think ABC has a hit on their hands with Cougar Town.


As a 40-something myself, I can relate to Courtney Cox's Jules.  How horrifying to be a 40-something and in the dating pool.  At least in Jules' case, she's only back in the pool; while, technically, I've never really left – but I have seriously considered opting out. 


Still single at 45 years of age, I've begun to think that it is, in fact, me and not any of them. But as I really mull it over, I'm not so sure. Take a look at three recent experiences:


1. After an exchange with a decent looking guy, I agreed to give him my number. Turned out this 45 year old man lived with his parents. They didn't live with him. He had not moved back in with them – no, he NEVER moved out. When plans for a date were cancelled because he couldn't get the car, I told him to lose my number. Is this really what's left out there for us?


2. I finally agreed to check out a singles function at my church. This was an 'over 40' function – problem was most of the people there were 40 years OVER 40! 90% of the men had white hair – that's for those who had hair. I met men named Kermit (swear), Bo, Sherm. These are not names from my generation, or even my parents' generation; these are names from the days of the Great Depression – no pun intended, but it was pretty sad.


3. At a local wine bar, my server was an adorable, blond-haired young man.  He had a nerdy-cool thing going on with his modern Clark Kent frames, and as he offered up Chardonnay choices, I actually contemplated the 'cougar' thing. He was probably about 29 years old – could I do a Mrs. Robinson – hmmmm? I wondered. Well, it turned out that he was nursing a broken heart; the poor thing, dumped recently by some guy named Stanley.  Check, please!


Do you see what I mean?  Is it me?  Who knows… As I mentioned, dating has almost become a horrifying prospect these days – although I've never really had much success with it anyway.  My life is chock full of things like the above and they're chronicled in my book: The Ones That Got Away – A Dating Memoir.  My story is an elaborate answer to the repetitive question, "Why are you still single?" 


So what if I'm 45 and single – I've come to accept that. And even if I do stop putting myself out there, I can always tune into Jules' life and continue to date vicariously – at least this way there's no hangover!


Looking forward to Wednesdays,

-         M. Hill