You know, it's funny, after I formulated the OTGA quiz for the previous post, there was one question – that was cut from the quiz – that nagged at me.
It went something like…
You know your man has issues if he:
a.) Can't get it up
b.) Can't keep it up
c.) Shoots off early
d.) Doesn't shoot at all
Let's face it. The fact is he has issues if any of the above situations apply; but that's not what haunted me. It wasn't the delicate nature of erectile dysfunction, per se; no, it had more to do with the actual letters E & D – which, yes, I know, stand for erectile dysfunction.
Think of all the words out there that start with the letter E that can be associated with this. Here are a few: Erection (obviously), Ecstasy, Emotion, Erogenous, Erotic, Energy and Engorge – although, within our topic, there's a certain deficiency seriously associated with this one.
Deficiency… yes, that's quite the word, isn't it? And, a perfect segue into the letter D. Here we go: Diminished, Defunct, Deadened, Disgust, Displeased, Dissatisfaction, Dismayed, Defective, Devoid, Deprived, Depressed, Dreadful, Dire – it seems this list may be endless. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how many negative words start with the letter D? Delightful. (intentional) How is it that that poor word has taken on a negative bent over the years? Hardly anyone uses it to describe a truly delightful situation anymore – it's almost always used sarcastically these days. "I've been on a diet – another negative word – for three weeks now and I actually gained two pounds. Delightful, just friggin' delightful." See what I mean? I've gone off point.
Well, anyway, these words just swirled around in my brain until they bore the following:
Erection Defection – the haiku
Quick, somebody call Pfizer…